Ice, Electricity, Neighbors, Hair, and Guilt

This is my second snow day in a row - and it seems like it's been a week. I feel as if I'm quarantined in my own house - which is funny, because there are some weekends where I don't really go anywhere, but that's different than being surrounded by so much snow and ice that you're actually afraid to go outside.

Ya know, maybe if I started limiting my blog posts to fewer topics they wouldn't be so long...well, whatever, it's just me!!

Falling to sleep last night felt like waging a war...a cold war, actually. (Concerning the temperature and the lack of manual fighting.) Outside, I could hear what sounded like sheets of ice sliding off of my roof and cascading to the ground below where they broke into a million pieces and scattered like the ceramic lamp I broke last summer... Okay, well it felt a little like breaking that lamp as I heard all that ice crash. I lay in bed, convincing myself to sleep, but every time I heard another splintering roar from outside I cringed, and realized that my eyes were really wide open, not at all ready to go to sleep. And all I could think about was my rabbit - was he okay out there, in the freezing gale, right under an awning where his hutch would be prone to slipping ice?
When I woke up and saw the damage outside, it really was as if a war had happened - tree limbs lay all about, the ground was covered in ice, and sinister wind blew through the skeletal trees. There were what appeared to be corpses of broken icicles on the ground, along with a thin layer of what had been freezing rain covering the ground. It was quite a drastic scene.

There's this all paired with the fact that our power was out. It went out at about 7:30 or 8 last night, and was out all of today until about 2, when it came back on for an hour, then decided to be difficult and leave again, only to return a few hours later.

Only when we live without electricity for a little while do we realize how much it governs our lives - I couldn't get on the computer or my phone (both were, conveniently, low on charge, and I didn't have Internet connection so there wouldn't have been much point), couldn't heat food on the stove or in the microwave (we used our wood-burning stove instead, which took longer, but frankly I positively LOVED it), and couldn't watch movies. Looking back on it, I'm actually grateful that my electron appliances were not usable - instead, I read and enjoyed just BEING instead of always having to be so...productive. Not that being productive is a bad thing - but it can be, in my case.

Anyway, I walked around the neighborhood with my parents and told people that a building downtown was open with heat and light if they needed it - only two of the people whose doors I went to actually answered - but I still felt very accomplished that I had done that. It was one of those things you do to do, and look back on it and say, "Hey that was pretty cool." I felt like I was helping people and being more independent...I felt pretty good. Well, cold also.

Just a little note: I'm reading a book about kids with electrical powers right now (which I would not recommend...I'm only reading it because my teacher gave it to me and asked me to sample it, and I thought it was cool that he trusted me to do this - the book, I'm sad to say, is not the best. I just thought that was ironic, seeing as they have electricity pulsing through their bodies and we had none to be heard of.

Our neighbors came over and stayed at our house for the majority of the middle part of the day because they didn't have any heat, and we had our stove. They have a little 14 month old baby, who was napping most of the time. Despite that, it was fun to see him all energetic afterward. I had an interesting and actually very welcome feeling while they were here of familiarity - somehow, it wasn't awkward, wasn't strange at all. But there are so many people I know even better than them with whom things are awkward...why is that? There's something about the label of "neighbors" that makes things comfortable. You share something, and that is many a time a great start to any kind of relationship. In this instance, we also shared a situation and the desire to be warm.

Hair, hair, hair...how it affects my mood. Seriously, I will have a much happier disposition if my hair has volume, is not oily, not blocking my vision, and not knotted. But why? Really though, we spend a lot of time with our hair - it's very close to us. And it's one of those things that, oftentimes, no matter how hard we try, we simply can't control. I suppose that could be good, like a little lesson - you just can't control things. And if hair is too controllable, it feels unnatural. But what is hair really? Why do we have it? Protection, maybe? But against what? Is there really a use for it? Or is it just for...looks? Aliens usually don't seem to have hair...is it because we consider this to be something so normal that aliens simply couldn't have hair. Hair is actually quite odd, and difficult to understand.

Finally, guilt. I've realized that I spend a lot of my time feeling guilty about something. Guilty that I ate those last few bites or had dessert, guilty that I didn't practice piano, guilty that I didn't bring my rabbit in, guilty that I watched a movie with my parents instead of reading, guilty that I didn't exercise, that I spent so much time on the computer, that I didn't study three days in advance for a test, that I stayed up too late, that I wore jeans instead of sweatpants... These are all such trivial things! Why should I waste my time worrying about doing them or worrying about not doing them? I have a wonderful life!!! And yes, sometimes there are things that I should have done, but I just have to move on! It'll be okay, and guilt won't make the situation better. I've just got to get up out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself because I'm so dreadfully tired. I've got to leave that moment-that-could-have-been-if-I'd-something-different behind and just move one and keep going. Whatever I spend my time doing is what I spent my time doing, and I always try to make the best of my time.

Ah...that felt good. Writing all of that. I feel satisfied - very satisfied. Two hour delay tomorrow, then rehearsal, then coming home and trying to not be too wiped out...oh, and I'll probably be disappointed that we don't have any more of those chocolate chip cookie sandwiches...oh well!

I'll just move on!